Pokemon Snack!
by The Lovely Vocal
Summary: Coming in live from Unova is the newest cooking show to hit the airwaves. Our host brings out her own Pokemon to help cook, and isn't squeamish about using "natural" ingredients. Taking suggestions!


A single camera fades into a shining logo, a studio audience applauds a single kitchen in the center. The camera zooms in to the host Vocal and her Pokemon companion: A female Bisharp wearing a white apron. They finish sharpening their blades and look to the camera, Vocal lets out a smile and sets one down.

"Hello, and welcome to Pokemon Snack: The new variety cooking show to the Unova Region! You may know me as Vocal, or if you don't, nice to meet you!" She lets out one soft chuckle to herself. "And accompanying me today will be my darling Bisharp companion Keres"

The camera pans over to the Bisharp, who tilts her head in confusion and uses some sign language to speak with Vocal.

"Don't worry, honey, you'll get used to the camera soon enough" Vocal says as she pets the Bisharp's cheek. "Now, the first of hopefully many meals will be a Johto delicacy, but has lost popularity due to the Team Rocket incident of 2002. I am of course, talking about none other than Slowpoke Tails. Grilled."

Keres gives an insect-like cooing at the thought of the food, immediately forgetting about how camera shy she was. She immediately starts signing to Vocal, this time accompanying her signs with metallic hissing.

"Calm down, girl. We have to get the ingredients first. We first need seasoned salt, to balance out the sweetness." She sets on table one salt shaker full of it, then looks to camera again. "It's a simple recipe, but oh so worth it. If you would like, you can add Cheri Berry or Figy Berry sauce for that sweet and spicy flavor. We will get to that part later, though.

"Next what we need is the most important ingredient of all: A single Slowpoke tail. Slowpoke tails care naturally hairless and can even be eaten raw, but I personally prefer to smell the caramelization that comes from the grill. Slowpoke naturally use their tails for baiting fish, so they have very little feeling in their tails. I will be using my own Slowpoke for this project"

She smiles as she tosses one Pokeball, releasing a Slowpoke onto the table. The Slowpoke, as usual, is not quick to respond, and seems to smile with dull eyes at the camera when he realizes he is on a cooking show. The crowd gasps at the thought of such a creature having his tail severed, and even more when the Bisharp is told to chop it off. The Slowpoke turns around and notices the loss of its appendage, but then looks forward as if nothing happened.

"You see, Slowpoke take a few minutes to process pain, and even then, Slowpoke tails grow back within 48 hours, so he'll be fine. Right, Albert?" The Slowpoke, however, does not notice. He simply bends forward to lick at the stump that was left of his tail before returning to his Pokeball.

"Now, we simply have to add seasoned salt and stick it on the grill. Bruce will be attending to that part" She smiles as she salts the tail and hands it off to a massive Emboar. He grunts in agreement before setting it on a grill and using a small, controlled flamethrower. "Meanwhile, I'll work on the sauce. For this, you'll need two tablespoons of vegetable oil, a finely chopped onion, two teaspoons of coarse salt, and four chopped Figy Berries"

Keres is then shown holding a small bowl containing the chopped onion. "Fortunately, Keres took care of the onion. That leaves me to take care of the Figy Berries. The stem, in the skinnier part, is edible but contains none of the seeds that give the spicy flavor" She continues to talk whilst chopping the berry. "Bruce is also in charge of cooking the onions in a saucepan prior to making the actual sauce. Thank you again, Bruce." He simply grunts in response and walks out of frame.

"At this point, all that is needed is to place the Figy Berries and salt in the saucepan and boil it for thirty minutes. Be sure to stir every five minutes. Luckily, Bruce has the grill on a lower heat so they'd be done at the same time. We'll be right back"

The camera pans out as it skips to advertisements.

* * *

The screen fades back in and Vocal stands by her two Pokemon assistants. "Welcome back. Now, let's take a look at our meal!" She says with glee, setting the saucepan aside and dividing the Slowpoke tail. "Mmh! Will you look at that?"

"As you can see, the tail has been browned where it had contact with the grill, and cooking has only intensified it's natural flavor. Fortunately, Keres made one clean cut, so we can easily see the results. Bruce, on the other hand, managed the cooking excellently"

She then moves to the sauce and pours some on the slices of Slowpoke tail. "This sauce is just as great, though, as the boiling broke up the Figy Berry and dispersed it through the sauce. We even see little bits of onion, to add a little bit of bite!" She samples it and coos in satisfaction at their hard work. "Oh, so hot! Just the way I like it" she says. She then turns to the camera and continues, "But don't just take my word for it. If you can ship in some Slowpoke tails, you can eat like this too. It tastes even better, though, if you cook with the help of your Pokemon. I would also like to thank Albert, who gave up his tail for the next few days so we could air this show. Feel free to suggest your own cuisine, it could air on TV! Thanks for watching!"

The live studio audience applauds, especially when Albert comes out of his Pokeball and eats some of his own tail. The screen fades to black before the viewer can realize that was a form of cannibalism.

**Well, this is different from what I usually do. I was just thinking one day about Pokemon... then wondering what some of them taste like. I decided to start out with a classic. PM me if you have other suggestions. I'll take any that is both edible and legal. For example, Farfetch'd cannot be eaten due to how endangered they are, and eating Litwick is equivalent to eating a candle.**

**Pokemon is the intellectual property of Nintendo**


End file.
